Over it.

  • June 21, 2018
  • By Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky

Life lesson, y'all - as you get older, the less fucks you give.  Maybe a nicer way to say it is you become more accepting of the things you don't like, spend less time stressing over it, less time trying to please everyone, less time making excuses for it and spend more time doing what you want without apology because it makes you happy.

....even when it comes to family trips.  Every year, my husband and his side of the family plan for a camping trip.  Call me old or call me a princess but guys, I work too hard to pay money to sleep outside or take a dump in the woods and I'm too old to sleep on the ground.  Air mattresses don't cut it either.  I want my bed. I want running water and to be able to shower without a million mosquitoes trying to attack me.

Bottom line - I don't like camping.  I used to make excuses every year but in the last few years, I straight up said no and didn't even bother explaining why.  I'll take those weekends as a weekend all to myself.

.... or family obligations.  I'm over feeling obligated to attend eleventy billion recitals or 10 sports competitions or having to contribute to every single school and extra curricular fund raiser.  And this isn't very motherly of me but I really can't stand other children so why would I torture myself and sit through these things for hours on end?  I'm not even sorry I said that.

.... or family in general.  I've come to the sad realization that some family members are super selfish and really only care about themselves and their own schedules; to hell with everyone else.  I've over getting angry when they behave that way so I've learned to treat them the same and if they're inconvenienced, oh well. Deal.

.... I'm over trying to maintain a 20yr old body. Not gonna lie - it's fucking hard to keep this up when you're in your 40s.  

This picture wasn't even that long ago (about a year and a half ago) but I'm turning 43 this year and I'll be honest guys, I just don't have the energy for it.  Your 40s is a time of wacky hormones, your joints start to really feel their age and recovery time is way longer.  Do you know how hard I had to work to get in this kind of shape? I'm talking about six days a week of hard training for nearly a year and a half with super clean eating.  These are the days when I only ate dessert once a year (on my birthday), was 100% grain free 365 days a year with zero cheating.  I never complained about it either because I wanted to do it; I was having SO MUCH FUN learning all about muay thai and training as hard as I was...but my body also burnt out fast and that's when I started experiencing lingering injuries.

Let me put this into perspective - our gym had a 6wk fitness challenge and every single 20-something who entered got into this kind of shape in SIX WEEKS.  All the 40-something folks who entered looked like they didn't really do much even though they all trained just as hard and ate as well as the others.  Rude awakening, folks.

.... I'm over coddling people at work.  Actually, I was over that years ago but it's worth mentioning here because I just wrapped up a project where I was no-holds-barred, brutally honest and straight up called people out on their shit.  I didn't care what role they possessed - analyst, director, even VP - if you are not doing what you're supposed to be doing, then you will be called out on it.  I know you're supposed to be all PC and diplomatic and shit but frankly, these are grown-ass people who should know how to do their job and the aggressive timelines we were put under offered zero time for fuckery.

.... I'm over humming and hawing whether I should ask for/about something.  I just ask.  I mean, what's the worst that can happen? and it's way better than wasting time wondering or regretting missing the opportunity to ask.  I've been working from home a lot lately; with 4 projects on the go, working from home affords me the time to log in early and get shit done instead of wasting 3hrs sitting in traffic.  I started thinking about working from home 100% of the time but wasn't sure what the policy was (or what the director thought about that) so I approached him and straight up asked....and now I work from home 4 days a week.  Ask and ye shall receive.

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  1. I seriously love this. I love your attitude. I hope I can be more like this as I mature more. I have a super hard time saying no and letting people down and am just way too passive. Why do we care so much about what others think?! I hate it.
    For the record, I have never been camping but I have always refused to go. I know for a fact I would hate it. I hate the outdoors and I need my sleep... which I can only get in my own bed.

  2. I hate camping - I flat out WILL Not go.. I gave up that in my teens its BS and never been fun.

    The 40 something bod. Yes all the yes and eff the universe for it.. I sound like fricken rice cripies every morning.

  3. There's no harm in asking.

    You can't out-smart aging. Things change! We have to accept it to some degree. And have the dessert!

  4. That is awesome that you are working from home 4 days a week now!!! I have come to terms with the fact that certain family members are selfish as fuck and I have to not let it get to me. Chris and I have straight up said no thanks to some big deal family events because of that with zero guilt. And we all know I have been struggling to get back on the healthy train full time. I just dont have the energy for it right now. And I am pissed that my body doesn't bounce back quickly like a 20-somethings does.

  5. I have always loved your honesty in everything & this is no exception.
    I am SOOOO with you on camping. no thank you. I get spending a day in the woods & sitting around a camp fire, but give me a hotel room at the end of the night.
    & YAAAAAAS girl on the trying to keep the body up at 40. It's like a full time job that doesn't pay minimum wage.

  6. Agreed with all. And particularly the last one. Now if I need something I just ask. Also your body is still ridiculously fit (even if that pic was a year ago)!

  7. Fuck camping - I like s'mores and drinking by the fire, but by lights out, I'm like put me in a hotel. I have zero guilt saying no to things I don't want to do anymore. Why put myself through that garbage?

  8. I 100% co-sign your feelings about camping, and will never understand why grown adults do it for fun. I experienced it enough as a kid, and am completely all set now. No thanks.

  9. Congrats on getting to work from home 4 days a week! That's awesome!

  10. I love your honesty and found myself nodding along in agreement - totally with you on the camping and family obligations - I made the decision that life is too short for family vacations - end of story. I've done enough, my blood pressure has been high enough and I come back anything but relaxed. Oh and the gratitude is minimal from some relatives and in-laws at the best of times.

    Life is too short to try keep everyone happy. My parents went above and beyond for family and in-laws their entire life - I refuse to go the same route because (even as a child) I could see they were taken for granted by family and friends with a take-only attitude. They were too generous and too polite. It is an invitation for greedy idiots to take advantage!
    No thanks!

    Those pictures are amazing but you worked seriously hard to get there and I can only imagine how hard you trained and how clean you ate. It is so difficult to maintain and our bodies change as we get older.

    Congratulations on getting to work from home for the 4 days a week - that is awesome.

  11. LOL to the other peoples' children comment. I agree. I can teach them, gladly, but I'll never be the type who wants to be surrounded by other peoples' kids in a non-professional kind of way.

    And coddling coworkers: yes. I know there's a learning curve, but personal responsibility goes a long way.

  12. Your attitude is the greatest.
    I struggle with the family shit for sure. And with just ASKING for what I want. It's definitely something I want to get over, though. I feel like life is 110% less dramatic when you just make it known what you expect and what you're will to do/put up with/accept.

  13. My mom always taught me to ask. She used to say, "what's the worse they'll say? No? Then you're no worse off than before". it's 100% true. If you don't ask you'll never know. I'm happy that I abide by a few of these already in my early 30s. My life is just that - mine - and I don't have time for BS friends and family who aren't giving it their all as well. And working out - ugh! SO much harder as you get older!