Holiday Confessions

  • December 20, 2017
  • By Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky

+ I hate the Elf on the Shelf.  After losing the argument with my husband, I refused to get her the actual Elf (that shit is $50! ain't nobody got time for that price), I went cheap and got her one from the dollar store.  Or maybe it was a couponed Michaels one but it cost me like, $5.  Either way, since he was the one who really wanted it (aside from Kayla), he's the one who has to move it and write the notes etc. Now he fucking hates it because it's so much work. I TOLD YOU SO.

+ Speaking of Elf on the Shelf, I am tired of this whole charade and want it to be over with so when Kayla straight up asked if we move it, I said "daddy does" and waited for her reaction.  When she simply nodded her head and said nothing, I left it at that. I think she now knows that it's all a hoax but is not ready to talk about it.

+ The day that Kayla asks if Santa is/isn't real, I will also tell her the truth.  She's 9 and I'm tired of giving a fake character credit for her awesome gifts THAT I BUY.

+  I judge those who are at wits end Christmas week and they're frantically trying to finish their shopping.  Christmas is the same day every year, people. Get it together and plan accordingly aka online shopping.

+ If I have to go to the dreaded mall during this time, IDGAF who you are - you wait in line like everyone else.  For some reason, little old ladies try to wedge their way in front of me and then give me some excuse like "I'm old, I can't really wait in line".  We'll, ain't nobody getting any younger in this line got yo ass up and came to the mall so I'm sure waiting in line won't do you any more harm than that.  Back of the line, sister.

+ While I love that my husband is home for 3wks on vacation, he's already driving me crazy. Like yesterday when he decided to clean out the storage room without any planning; as in he yanked EVERYTHING OUT OF STORAGE and then proceeded to holler at me from the basement "WHERE SHOULD WE PUT THIS! WHAT IS THIS? YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! CAN YOU SELL THIS?".  OMFG, NO.  I got tired of it so I said "I was not prepared to handle this today; YOU DEAL WITH IT" and then left.

+ I'm really excited about this holiday season because it's the first holiday that I'm going to eat all the things.  I haven't done that since 2011 but this year? BRING IT ON.  I won't be going super crazy like having candy for dinner or anything like that but I will be loosening the reigns with eating and I.CAN'T.WAIT.  Besides, calories don't count during the holidays, right?


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  1. The elf is fucking creepy, I can't stand him. I've unfollowed people on instagram who posted daily pictures of theirs. Nope. Glad Kayla is seeing the light! I don't remember when I stopped believing in Santa but it was not this dramatic heart break situation adults pretend it is. She's a big girl, she'll be fine.
    I also judge adults who freak out over Christmas and also those who go into debt over it. Christmas is not an emergency or a surprise. Same time every year, same people to buy for. Plan better.

  2. I hate when Husband wants to do something and then it becomes MY problems. NOPE. Ask the internet, it's 2017, that's what I did to figure it out.
    If I had kids, there would be no elf. I ain't got time for that shit.
    I agree about Christmas planning. How are people surprised by this every year? My favorite is still to happily tell everyone that in lieu of gifts, I donated to our local homeless shelter. People tend to be less judgy after you tell them their gift allocation when to someone that actually NEEDS things, unlike most of us at Christmas.

  3. Totally me the person freaking out. With new job& puppy & making stuff for my etsy orders, I let my own world fall apart, whatever. I'll figure it out.
    Yeah, I have friends that never raised their kids to believe in Santa because they didn't like the whole santa getting,credit,nor want them feeling like its the whole point of Christmas. I always thought that was kinda cool

  4. Girl, you always make me laugh. I love the Elf on the Shelf, I think it is adorable. But I don't have children so I don't have to deal with all crap that comes with having that elf. I had to go to the mall last night and I couldn't believe how packed it was.

  5. We only let Santa take credit for giving one gift each year -- and put 'From Mom and Dad' on the cool stuff. And the Elf? I hate it. The kids liked it for a little bit until I didn't know what to do one morning so I put it in the fridge and added green food coloring to the milk. Both kids were mad that their elf would do something like that and they wanted him gone. I should have done that the first day ...

  6. I was shocked at how overpriced the Elf on the Shelf is, and lol at your husband regretting it already. Good for you for telling Kayla the truth when she asked if you guys are moving it.

  7. Haha good for you, making your husband deal with the elf since he is the one who wanted that it! I never understand how people freak out about buying presents around now too. Ummm you knew this was coming???

  8. The elf sends me into a rage.

    Also don't understand how people are rushed. Every year it's 12/25.

  9. I hate the elf thing. I pray that's a dead tradition by the time we have kids.
    My mom told me the truth about Santa when I was in 4th grade. That's probably close to Kayla's age, right? I was sad at first but the magic of Christmas goes beyond a belief in Santa ;)

  10. LOLOLOLOL - I also hate the elf on the shelf. Annoying. I feel ya on the xmas presents! Though this year has been bonkers (too many plans, too much work, too many projects, blah blah blah) so our shopping has been more behind than usual... I'm ok picking up the last few things (gift cards and one gift) between today and xmas. LOL. Hanging on by a thread because JESUS my time has been taken up by everyone. LOL. Merry Christmas! :) XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

  11. I can't remember me as a kid having Santa Claus fantasies because I think my mother never bothered. LOL Hey, Merry Christmas!

  12. Girl, I hate the Elf on the Shelf too. It is so damn creepy. And nothing irritates me more than people who don't think they should have to wait in line. That's why I try to skip the mall around the holidays. I can't deal with people sometimes!