Things you crave when you have young kids.

  • February 01, 2017
  • By Kathy@MoreCoffeeLessTalky
  • 24 Comments

Privacy to do your bidness in a public bathroom.  Kayla is 8 but to me, she's still a tiny baby so when I have to use the washroom, she comes in the stall with me.  I realize I can have her stand right in front of the door but what happens if her shoes suddenly disappear? How am I supposed to chase the bad guy who is trying to kidnap my daughter with my pants around my ankles?

So I make Kayla come into the stall with me.  I ask her to turn around and face the door while I do what I need to do but sometimes, curiosity gets the better of her and that's when things like "you have hair on your vagina" or "why do you have a string there?" come out of her mouth and echos in the bathroom #mortified.

Privacy to do your bidness in your own bathroom.  Kids will ignore most of what you say/happens around them except for two things: when they hear a candy wrapper you're trying to stealthily muffle as you try and sneak candy and when you're trying to go to the bathroom.  It's as if once that click of the door is heard, they immediately think it's an invitation to incessantly bang on the door calling for you.  Do you know how hard it is to concentrate with that kind of ruckus going on?  Just give me 3 fucking minutes of quiet where I want to hear nothing but my own grunts.

Quiet time.  Kids have one volume - LOUD. What is it about children who think they have to shout in your face/ear like you're in a club trying to have a conversation.

Sitting there just doing absolutely nothing.  I miss the days of being able to sit on the couch and grow roots without having to get up or talk to anyone for hours.  When you have kids, sitting on the couch it means you turn into a jungle gym and you have someone climbing all over you or wanting to play hairdresser or someone shouting in your face while climbing all over you and wanting to play hairdresser.

Uninterrupted sleep.  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  Grant it, it's much easier when they're older and can actually sleep through the night.  It seems that once you get used to blissful sleep, something throws a wrench into their sleeping patterns (read: asshole school friends telling Kayla scary stories) and suddenly you're with a newborn again.

Alcohol.  Because you have kids.

Guess who's on vacation until next week Thursday?


We leave for Mount Tremblant tomorrow morning for 5 glorious days of snowboarding, eating and relaxing.  6 other families are going so it's going to be so much fun.  Today I spend the day finalizing our packing, making a wine run and getting the last of our books at the library.

Have a great week!

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24 comments

  1. Haha great, the newborn phase comes back huh? Only they aren't as cute as newborns then :P I hope you have a great time on vacation!!!

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  2. Yes. All these things. I miss my privacy and not being a jungle gym. I miss the quiet most of all.

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  3. Hahaha, I love this. Sitting and doing nothing without getting up every five seconds to make sure his finger isn't in a light socket -- how glorious that will be. Have so much fun on your vacation!!

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  4. LOL my mom complains about the privacy in the bathroom all the time. She couldn't, and still can't, be in there for 2 minutes with me or my dad calling for her or the dogs pushing their way in. It's a universal mom thing I guess!

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  5. Have an awesome vacation!

    Sitting and doing nothing or not talking for hours is one of my great joys.

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  6. I love this! I don't have kids, but these seem true and authentic. I hope you have a great vacation!

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  7. my aunt loves her mommy poop time. she brings her ipad and stays in the bathroom for like 20 minutes. it's her only escape from her three boys!!

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  8. Reading this makes me kinda appreciate the benefits I have of not having kids :) haha
    Enjoy that trip!!!

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  9. why do you have a string in there hahahahaha
    i don't know about the bathroom, but i went into the changing rooms with my mum until i was early teens i think. i'd probably make my kid do it too.
    my cats try and come in the bathroom with KC and I (separately obviously) and it annoys KC but I tell him it's practice for kids annoying us. hahaha.

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  10. I don't have kids so I can't relate as the adult but I do remember doing all these things as a kid. I'm not sure my Mom made me come into the bathroom stall with her but different times. She probably would now. I don't even bother shutting the bathroom door because Max, my cat, will just open it anyway. Yeah, he can open doors. :D Have a fantastic vacation!! Can't wait to hear all about it when you get back!

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  11. My sister just told me last night that at the grocery store the other day my 6 year old niece asked her repeatedly 'Mom, do you need any tampons or pads for your period' until my sister finally responded to her after about the 5th time she asked. She'd been hoping that ignoring her would get her to stop but obviously that didn't work hahaha

    My dog follows me into the bathroom everytime I go and I cannot do my business when she's looking at me - hopefully that changes when I have kids or I'll have a hell of a lot of bladder infections haha

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  12. Lol this is 100% accurate in every shape and size! The bathroom stall one is so true too! Enjoy your vacation!

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  13. I must be the crappy mom, I just ignored the kids when I went into the bathroom. I still can not have anyone in there with me like ever. Sometimes girls want to go together like at a really crowded place with a one stall situation and I am always like oh hell no, GTFO.

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  14. I can agree to all of this! This is why I go to the bathroom before I leave for work. A moment of peace before returning to the madness!

    Katie @ Live Half Full

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  15. I can totally relate to most of these! haha!! Hope you have an amazing trip!!

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  16. Oh my gosh, the things kids say. Ahaha!

    Oh man, I miss quiet and sitting in solitude on the couch. Now, Caleb climbs all over me. I'm always saying "I'm not a jungle gym!" And "ow!"

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  17. Hahahahahaha- all the bathroom descriptions crack me up. I have childhood memories of needing my mom RIGHT when she went to the bathroom. Hahaha. She was always so frustrated with me :)
    Have a great trip!!!

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  18. I don't want kids, and this kind of stuff confirms that for me. Bless those of you that take care of tiny humans for people like me that want nothing to do with that life.

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  19. This post is seriously so freaking spot on. Especially when it comes to kids saying mortifying things in public bathrooms. I love my boys so dang much, but sometimes I definitely miss the sleeping in as long as I want and the not having to get off of the couch.

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  20. Yes to everything. Once they Kayla hits her preteen years, you'll start to notice your things going missing (clothes, shoes, makeup, etc.) and there will still be no quiet time because when you're teenager is quiet, you gotta get up and make sure they're not doing something stupid like texting boys.

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  21. I don't have kids yet, but this made me laugh. And also reminded to me to enjoy all these things now while I still have them! :) Have a blast on vacation!

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  22. Oh man, the parent struggle is real. I haven't even considered most of these things. But that thought process on the bathroom trip is so so true. Not a lot of good options there.

    7% Solution

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  23. I don't have kids yet but I always hear moms talk about this. :)

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  24. I don't have kids, but I can totally see all of these. I feel the bathroom or couch ones about my cats. Seriously they are pains.. but don't make awkward public comments, obvs. LOL Glad you enjoyed your vacation! XO - Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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